There's this stupid Christian thing we do, where we admit to being lost one time and from then on we become "found." It's the act of admitting that we're lost that causes us to be found. It's the act of humility which gives us something to be proud of ourselves for.
I was listening to a Rob Bell sermon explaining that the beatitudes aren't something we're supposed to strive to achieve. When Jesus says "blessed are the poor in spirit," he isn't saying that we should all try to become poor in spirit. Poor in spirit means morally corrupt. It's not a good thing to be. And yet...they are blessed. Because God loves us and we're his family. Even if we're morally corrupt. Even if we're heroin addicts, child molesters, Klan members or Adolf Hitler...we are still blessed.
One of my favorite movies is Lilo and Stitch. It's a great little movie about a mad scientist who creates a monster that it purely evil and destructive. But the monster escapes and meets a little Hawaiian girl. He destroys everything in sight, but is lulled by the story of the ugly duckling. In the book, the duckling goes off alone and says, "I'm lost." Then, it's family shows up and the ugly duckling, as we all know, is shown to be a beautiful swan.
So, during the "All is Lost" section of the movie, the monster goes out alone into the middle of the woods and shouts, "I'm lost," out into the night. Waiting for his family to show up and reveal that he is wonderful after all.
And of course, it is after he screams out into the woods that he discovers that he isn't entirely wicked...that there is some goodness in him, and that he does have family. Lilo and her sister love him and they have become his family.
So this is how it works in Christianity. We tell our Christian friends that we are lost so that they will pat us on the head. We're even asked to walk down the aisle and make this statement in front of strangers in order to prove that we mean it. It seems to me like Lilo and Stitch is almost this phenomenal representation of Christianity. I'm this monster, created by a mad scientist for one purpose -- evil. I am designed to destroy, to tear down what is beautiful, to make all the girls cry and pillage and thump my chest with pride at what a good job I did watching the world burn. But I still want to be loved, even though I am a monster.
According to Rob Bell, Jesus stated that he loves me even though I am a monster, no matter how horrible and wicked of a monster I am. And that love is not dependent on anything. And yet, we feel the need to run out into the woods and announce that we're lost, as if that accomplishes anything. As if God loves us more for being humble. And as if he can't see through that false humility that's just designed to make him love us more. I can shout it out into the night. I can scream it out at the top of my lungs until my vocal chords bleed and it doesn't make me any more found.
And still I feel the need to say it.
I am lost. I have no answers. I have lived me life the opposite way I should. I have way more in common with Adolf Hitler or Sid Vicious than Jesus. I'm a monster. I am evil and I destroy everything that I touch. If you say otherwise, you are a liar, and you only tell me that I am wonderful so that you can believe that you are wonderful too.
But we are lost.
We are both lost.
I am lost.
I am sitting in the middle of the woods, holding "The Ugly Duckling" in my lap and crying. I scream at the top of my lungs that I am lost. But the only thing that happens is a mad scientist shows up and tells me that I was created for evil and that I am unlovable.
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