Honestly, I believe that “Love is Patient” may possibly be the crux of the whole thing. The problem with us -- correction -- the problem with ME...is that I don’t love enough mostly because I am not patient. That one tiny category has bled all over the other categories and polluted them with it’s hurry to go ahead and be done with it all.
But I have a long way left to go.
And I suppose you do to.
I am a big fan of checklists. It gives me a big thrill to check something off of my “Things To Do Today” list. Every time I do it -- check, check, check. It’s great, I love it. We all do. There’s just something about it that makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something.
And that’s all great...there’s no problem with checklists -- they’re wonderful things. The problem is what happens when we start checking off items from things that aren’t checklists.
The way I’ve always dealt with 1 Corinthians 13 as if it’s a checklist:
Love is patient...oooh, well, I’m not so patient...bummer.
Oh, but I am kind -- check.
Does not envy, hmmm...I don’t think I have too much of a problem with envy -- check.
Does not boast -- check...well, at least most of the time.
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
It’s not a checklist. I can personally guarantee you that you do not measure up in any of the categories, not even the one your best at.
What Paul, I think, is suggesting here is that you love...more.
However much you love, love more. Love the people you hate. Love the people you are indifferent to. The people you love a little, love them like they were your own family...as if they were your child or wife or husband. The people who you love most, pour out even more love onto them, more than you could imagine.
But that, is exhausting. There’s no end in sight.
I’m impatient. I know that love is a never ending cycle -- an unreachable goal...and yet, I want to love. I want to be able to tell someone that I love them. I want there to be a goal within reach, so that someday (preferably today) I can quit reaching ever higher. And so, I quit. I settle with the amount of love that I am currently capable of.
It’s as if we pray to God. We say, “God, what would you like me to do today.”
And -- because in my metaphor, God is a mute -- we hand him a legal pad. At the top, we’ve written “To Do Today.”
So God takes the legal pad, and looks at it confused for a moment. He starts to open his mouth to speak, but we quickly remind him that in this story, he’s mute, and his instructions must be limited to writing on our To-Do list.
So he writes something and hands it back.
We check to see what he’s written: “love.” That’s all it says.
So we go, “That’s easy! I totally love people!” And we draw a check-mark right next to where God has written love.
It makes me cringe to think about it that way (probably makes God cringe a little too) but that’s what we do. I do it. You do it too. Whether you’re a serial killer or the pastor of a mega-church -- you check off love, as if it was a task that can be completed.
And, to your credit, maybe you mull it over a bit first. Maybe instead of immediately checking it off without giving it any thought, you set down the legal pad, and you go do something loving for somebody. Or, maybe, you go pray about it...maybe for hours. But eventually, you will place that check-mark next to “love.”
Because you’re not patient.
We want to be done with it. You know? I do. I don’t want to spend my whole life learning how to love better and better. That...well...that doesn’t seem very fun. And I’m not 100% sure it’s as productive as learning something else...where...you know...there’s an ending point, where eventually, I can say “yes, I know about (blank) subject!”
And we treat love like it’s one of those subjects.
Think of it like playing the guitar. Now, personally, I believe that Jimmy Page is the greatest guitarist of all time, so I’m going to reference him, but if you prefer Jimi Hendrix or Eric Clapton or Jeff Beck, or one of the other lesser guitarists, by all means, imagine them...
Jimmy Page is God -- he’s the best at guitar there ever was and ever will be. When it comes to love, God is the pinnacle...you will never EVER love as much as He loves. And when it comes to the electric guitar, no one will ever rock as much as Mr. Jimmy Page.
I’m assuming, if you’ve been to college, you’ve met somebody who has:
- Never played guitar.
- Seen a guitar is somebody else’s dorm room.
- Decided to pick it up.
- Pretended they could play it...resulting in the worst music you’ll ever hear until your kid joins the middle-school band and spends hours learning how to play clarinet.
He then puts it down and assumes this guitar thing isn’t for him. He’s not patient enough to develop the skill of guitar playing (or loving...don’t forget, this is a metaphor, remember?)
I’m also assuming you know somebody who plays guitar like Jimmy Page -- but only in their own delusions. In reality, they know how to play two songs off of Green Day’s first album, and they can butcher some Metallica song to the point that no one but them can tell what song it is.
Also, they’ve written a couple of their own songs.
(I assume you know guys like this...only this time, I’m talking about love and not guitar playing).
They don’t need to learn how to play guitar better because, well, they’re pretty flipping awesome. Oh, sure, they practice once in a while...and eventually they’ll improve, but they’re not making any great strides.
There are also really flipping phenomenal guitarists. Most of them, however, will not do what the great Jimi Hendrix did and carry their guitar (literally) everywhere with them...including the bathroom. You see...they too, are impatient. In the end...there are other things they would like to do with their time.
There are all sorts of varying degrees of guitarists, and there are all sorts of varying degrees of lovers. (I’m gonna start using the term “lover” now...don’t get all weirded out...I don’t mean it like that.)
Some people don’t love at all...they don’t even bother trying. Now, they’re hard to find...but they exist.
Some love a little, and believe they love a whole lot.
Others realize how little they love, and supposedly dedicate every waking moment to learning how to love more...(only...they’re not taking their guitar everywhere with them).
If God just handed you back a legal pad with the word “Love” written on it...it doesn’t matter if you wait five minutes before you check it off, or 23 hours and 55 minutes. You still check it off the list, or -- if you don’t -- it’s only because you get impatient and set down the legal pad to go chase some butterflies or something.
Don’t be impatient. You will never achieve love. You will never love as much as God demands...but that is no excuse to give up. John Mayer didn’t get to be a great guitarist by realizing he would never be as good as Jimmy Page and settling for less. He did it by practicing constantly, more than you or I. He may not be Jimmy Page, but he is John Freaking Mayer!
So, I’ve only described how to be patient in regards to learning how to love...which is only part of the puzzle. Surely, we can also practice patience toward other people...that, too, is showing them love.
Yep.
That’s the easy part. When you’re fully focusing on loving, and every thought is colored with “is this love?” “am I loving him enough?” “does this clearly demonstrate true love to her?”, you’d be amazed how easy it is to be patient with them.
Patience, and this is just my opinion...is just one of those things that goes hand in hand with love...with caring. Instead of thinking about what you’d rather be doing, or how big of a jerk this person is, or whatever...if you’re thinking “what is the best way to love this human being whom my Father loves dearly,” you’re gonna be patient with them.
Furthermore, just on a bit of a side-note...and again, this is just my opinion.
33% of the world is Christian. That’s one third.
The average life expectancy in the United States is 78 years.
If, in your 78 years on this planet, you can manage to convert 2 people to Christianity...you have done your part in saving the entire world.
78 years. Two people. Why are we all rushing around trying to win souls? Two people -- in 78 years. God commands us to love people. He says it over and over and over again. More than anything else in the whole Bible, he tells us to love each other. But us Christians are far more interested in saving the sinners than LOVING them.
Love is patient. Love them. Work in their lives slowly. Don’t expect them to convert tomorrow. Just love them, and be patient. Trust God to do his thing. He loves them just as much as He loves you...He’ll work out a way to reach them. And it would probably be easier for Him if you didn’t screw things up by NOT being patient and therefore NOT loving them.
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