So, my second point is that "The Message" translated this passage in (I thought) a couple of really interesting ways. This passage has become rote for a lot of Christians. You spit it out without thinking about all the millions of applications for it because you've heard it...so...many...times.
Here's the translation:
Love is patient. (Love never gives up)
Love is kind. (Love cares more for others than for self)
It does not envy. (Love doesn't want what it doesn't have)
It does not boast. (Love doesn't strut)
It is not proud. (Doesn't have a swelled head)
It is not rude. (Doesn't force itself on others)
It is not self-seeking. (Isn't always "me-first")
It is not easily angered. (Doesn't fly off the handle)
It keeps no record of wrongs. (Doesn't keep score of the sins of others)
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. (Doesn't revel when others grovel)
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (Takes pleasure in the flowering of the truth)
A couple of those just kinda...well, made for a whole new way of understanding this passage...for me anyway.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Now, I understand that (duh) that's what envy is. But, the re-phrasing made me notice a little something. Also I've been reading Perelandra by C.S. Lewis. Here's a passage, which (I think) is the thesis of the book:
"The itch to have things over again, as if life were a film that could be unrolled twice or even made to work backwards...was it possibly the root of all evil? No: of course the love of money was called that. But money itself--perhaps one valued it chiefly as a defense against chance, a security for being able to have things over again, a means of arresting the unrolling of the film."
The whole book deals off-and-on with the idea of wishing things to be the way they had been before. To either go back and relive a wonderful moment of the past, or rewrite some horribly scarring section.
Envy, wanting what you don't have, doesn't just apply to physical things: the 52" flat panel tv that you're buddy has, or the girl you just really want so bad it hurts. It also applies to experiences. Don't we all long for things to be as good as they used to be, and fail to take notice of how good they are now? Don't we wish we could just fast-forward our lives to a happier point? Every single one of us is living in either the past or the future. And isn't that a lack of trust in God? Didn't He put us in exactly the place we are right now for a very specific reason? Isn't that envy?
Love trusts that. And you can say "Oh, I totally trust that" all you want, but it's probably a lie. Furthermore, I find it interesting, when this whole Perelandra idea is applied, to take notice that the translation does not say "Love doesn't want what it can't have." It doesn't want what it doesn't have. Is it just me, or is that a pretty huge difference? You don't have to be envious of other people...you can absolutely be envious of your own past or your own future. Do you gripe and moan about how much better things were before the recession -- about how much more effective you could be for God if you just had the money, or the power, or the life you used to have? Or how many of us think we would be SO much better off if only we could fast-forward through the current times of our life. If only we had more money, or more influence, or more...anything...(raises hand). It's not wanting what we can't have...but it is wanting what we don't have. And it's wrong. And it's not love.
And now, I have to be really careful, as I'm starting to get into the territory where I'm using a very modern translation and infusing it with a lot of my own thoughts. It all seems right to me, but then, I'm biased...I like my own ideas...probably better than I like anyone else's. Also, I'm doing exactly what I complained about in Part One, and relating this to romantic relationships. Did I mention that I'm a hypocrite?
I got into a lot of trouble recently by treating a girlfriend like a wife in a lot of ways. We were together far too often. We relied on each other far too much. We catered to a large portion of each other's needs and whims...all in an effort to show love. Basically, we were dating, and we're Americans...so we kinda dated like every other American...by getting entirely wrapped up in and depending on each other. But she wasn't mine. A girlfriend or a boyfriend is never yours. A wife belongs to her husband. And a husband belongs to his wife. A girlfriend, boyfriend, or even a fiance can never claim that kind of ownership.
By treating this girl this way...which I truly believed was the loving thing to do...I ended up hurting her and myself. And the worst part is, I did not learn the lesson and repeated the mistake. There's this Hollywood impression that true love is this wildly passionate thing, that can barely be contained, and we all want that so bad that we don't even realize that it's not good for us. True love does not want what it does not have. The kind of love that God give us and hopes that we pour out on each other doesn't cater to the whims of someone we find attractive. It patiently waits, evaluates, whether or not that person would allow us to serve and worship God more effectively.
So here's me up on my soap-box for a second:
We call it a twenty different things. Some of us call it dating. Some of us call it "talking" (and ugh...I really hate that term...it may possibly be the most annoying term ever created). Those of us who've read all those Joshua Harris books probably call it "courting." Whatever you call it, take a step back! And I'm not talking about superficial things. I've done the "we won't kiss until we're married" thing. I've done the "we won't say 'I love you' until we're married" thing. You can take this to whatever extreme you want, and all of those things are nice symbols, but overall, ineffective in holding emotions at bay.
And I don't wish to say that it's stupid to wait to kiss somebody. It's totally a beautiful and amazing thing, and I fully support it. Just don't expect that to take the place of guarding their heart, and guarding your own. The most important thing is that you love them. And love means, among other things, not wanting what you don't have.
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